hati yang sedang mencari

ku sarung jubah. tudung labuh ke dada.

kaki. lengan. tutup rapi.

aurat ku jaga semampunya.  

jalan ku kawal. agar tiada lenggok.

tapi kenapa hati rasa tak sempurna?

aku tahu apa puncanya.

biar terus rahsia.

rasa hipokrit.

bukan. bukan kerana berjubah.

hipokrit. kerana aku sebenarnya masih ditakuk lama.

goyah. iman berubah sekelip mata.

istiqamah. gagal.

ku tadah tangan. mohon ditunjukkan cara.

ku sujud. lekat rapat dahiku. merintih dalam jiwa.

mohon Dia ajar bagaimana.

dengki

apa rasanya memandang rendah?
merasa diri itu gah?

mungkin kau merasa kedengkian itu kerana telah terlalu lama kau di keenakan dunia.

tapi buka mata hati mu. tak semua begitu.

mungkin kau tak mendoakan kebahagiaan buat yang lain.

tapi jangan kau sangka aku kau, kita serupa.

aku tak pernah mahu yang lain gagal bersama aku.

dek kerana aku terlalu arif dengan pahitnya kejatuhan.

jangan sekali-kali kau memandang rendah akhlak ku.

jangan pimpin aku ke jurang kedengkian. kerana sesekali pun aku tak mahu.

blabloblablo

somehow i feel like typing again. writing on my personal diary just can't get rid of my emotion disorder. Everything seems to be so mixed up again. anger.. sadness.. sometimes happy.. and sometimes not. 3 to 4 things happened to me lately, and need to be said that it ain't good at all. for once, it doesn't have anything to do with my marks. oh well, obviously, cuz i'm still in my spring break, no results were given during this period. 

the urge to move out from my room gets higher every single day. at times like this, i just wish i could just slap people who slap me with their words. instead, i just say nothing and curse them- silently;  -__-" oh nadiah.. nadiah.. y laaa? T.T

Sickness is my bestfriend nowadays. I'm getting used to the dizziness and the stomach ache. It happens almost everyday for almost 2 weeks now. Should really be concerned about my health, but ngeh.. I'll just wait till i get back to Malaysia - doctor services are much more simpler in Malaysia. no procedure and easier.

I'm turning 20 and questions regarding marriage often been bombarded to me. and i wonder how bad it would be when i'm turning 25. honestly, marriage had became the most boring topic to me. Just so u know, I don't have any plan to get married. Well, I did, but lets just say not anymore. My percentage of getting excited over marriage had gone down from 100% to 5%. haha. such signnificant number! So, to those people questioning me, go get married yourself first la. derr.

ngehh.. i feel weird to start 'talking' with my blog again. i guess this is what happens when i get too much anger in me. should seriously calm down and go get a jog or something. Aihh.. >.<

anakku

can I get a hug? somebody? please? :'(
I miss my little Imran. badly. and my other children - Affan and Sofea.
And when I'm back in Malaysia, Imarn and Sofea would not be in Kajang anymore :(


Saw a baby while eating in Barkley Square just now, and gosh, I feel like cuddling him.
Ahhhh... I need a baby in my hand right now. or a cat as a substitute.
sindrom kurang kasih sayang T,T

2 tahun perkenalan

sempena yang ke-2 tahun,
aku tak mengharap apa2, taknak kata apa2.
tak, tak payah kata2 manis.
tak payah hadiah atau apa2.
cuma doa yang aku iringkan,
moga segalanya dipermudahkan buat kau.
buat kita. 
semoga segala yang dalam perancangan kita tercapai.
dan dipercepatkan insyaAllah. (uhuk!)


:)


ini bukan anniversary, tp aku anggap ini untuk hargai perkenalan kita selama 2 tahun. well, kalau ikutkan sebetul-betulnya, memang la kita kenal lg lama dr tu, tapi aku x consider tahu hanya nama dan muka masing2 tu sbg 'mengenali'. 

semoga tak berakhir sampai sini je :)

xde ayam, seafood pun jadi la :'(

nak ayam. ayam kfc yg spicy. taknak yg original.
sbb yg original takde krak kruk. x best.
ayam barkley square pn sedap.
betulla ayam kene suntik. sebab tu sy nak ayam sekarang (7.17 am, Sunday).
Ayammmmm...ayaaammmm T.T
kalau xde ayam takpe.
dapat seafood platter pun xpe. udang celup tepung, sotong tepung, ikan. omg!
lapaaaaaar TT_TT

karma

you're great - only if you stop acting like you're the wisest person ever. and if you stop condemning people.
what comes around goes around, you know. 


this reminder goes to me as well.